It Has to Start With You

Build-a-stone-path-smWe are what we think and speak. If we want to have a happy life then it is up to us to examine our lives and see where we are not happy and why.

Until you have learned to concentrate, you cannot change. You have to be in the present moment. That’s the only time you can truly be the observer and make better choices, decisions and change patterns that you unconsciously do, keeping you stuck.

Our natural state of being is to be happy, but we constantly sabotage ourselves by continually concentrating on illusion – what we think is happening and what we think we are doing. Because we are accepting illusion as reality we project our thoughts, fears, lack and disconnect as our reality, creating disappointment and lack.

We speak words of love, connection and wholeness of being. But when it comes down to living those beliefs, very few of actually follow that course.

We recognize what is good, what will make us happy, loving and compassionate, but we can’t hold the thought long enough to create it in our own reality. We speak or think the words of love and compassion, but we don’t act on those thoughts. We approve of it, then our next thought is, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was really like this?” never taking it into our own self, our own belief and practicing it. We always think the other person should change.

It’s one thing to think it; it’s quite another to live the change by making the effort to change. Many continue to stay in the same pattern of behavior and belief, but it has to start with you.

Suggested Spiritual Reading

BookshelfI am constantly being asked, “What is a good book I can read to help me along my path of self-discovery?”

Each of us is a totally different person seeking the same information. The trick is to find a guide, teacher, or some other type of help that well guide you on your path. We all have different ways of growing. I think that is why the Universe provides some many teachers, books, and unexpected help from our guides. There are all sorts of books out there that speak to the individual you are.

I suggest going to a book store and taking some time to read a bit and choose the information or book that resonates to you. With that said here is a list of books I recommend for the beginning seeker in everyone:

Sanaya Roman has written a series of books with the help of her guide Orin. They include, “Living with Joy”, “Personal Power Through Awareness”, and “Soul Love”

Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue (Book 1), by Neale Donald Walsch

The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield – this book is short but sweet. A nice starter book.

Like Sanaya Roman, John Randolph Price has written a bunch of books and I recommend anyone of them.

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle – I’ve already mentioned what I like about these books, but basically Tolle has a gentle way of reminding us to stay in the present moment.

Hopefully, there are enough recommendations here to get you into a bookstore. I recommend you find yourself a great metaphysical, new age or alternative book store since they usually have a better selection.

Hope your adventure is an enlightening one!

Vibrational Levels

Vibrational LevelsIn the physical world, different rates of vibration result in different kinds of effects. But vibrations that are high on the physical plane are actually low on the spiritual plane. In the spiritual dimension, negative energy is a lower vibration because it is denser and heavier. Positive energy is a higher vibration because it is finer and lighter.

All negative energy makes you feel trapped and heavy. All positive energy makes you feel free and light. That is the difference between joy and grief, peace and stress, clarity and frustration. Positive emotions attract more positive emotions whereas negative emotions attract more negative emotions. Feeling positive will result in more good things happening to you while feeling negative will lead to more undesirable things happening.

Negative emotions are not necessarily bad. They are meant to help you to realize an action is either good for you or undesirable for you. For example, anger is felt when there is a need to handle something that is not working for you. Anger can be converted into well being through right action. Anxiety is felt when there is a need to protect something from being taken away. Anxiety can be converted into confidence.

Negative emotions can be converted into positive emotions through right thinking and acting.

The problem with negative emotions arises when they are handled immaturely; resulting in a regression from anger to depression or anxiety to avoidance. Depression and avoidance are emotional states that rob you of energy. Those are the true negative emotions that need to be acknowledged in order to know what we truly want and allow ourselves to act with our well-being in mind.

A white light energy is considered a very high level of energy. That’s is why you’ll hear people saying things like, “surround yourself in white light.” It is believed to be a protecting light while you are trying to figure out a situation or experience.

The Worrier

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. - English ProverbSome form of worrying is a common occurrence. But then there is the chronic worrier.

If you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. But chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Do you believe your worry protects you or consumes you? Either way it keeps you stuck. You can’t move forward if you keep blocking yourself with worry. Here are some simple ways to release the worry:

  1. You can try keeping a log of your worries and re-read them at the end of the week. See how many of these worries were real.
  2. Try taking deep breaths and relax, taking in the moment. The very present moment.
  3. Once you have conquered the breathing try meditating, and staying in the present moment.
  4. Take a rubber band and put it on your wrist. Every time you begin to worry snap the rubber band and ask yourself how you are feeling right that very moment.

Most of the time worrying is a habit we have formed to keep us stuck and feeling safe. If we worry we don’t have to do anything about the situation. The problem with that is it keeps growing and gets worse then you worry.

It takes time to break the habit so be patient. You can break this trap if you work at it. It won’t be easy but you’ll feel better and more in control of your life.

Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejectionFear of rejection stems from past experiences when we have felt pain and disappointment and do not want to experience it again. stems from past experiences when we have felt pain and disappointment and do not want to experience it again. If we have been hurt badly in the past we tell ourselves that we should never be fully open again because the pain will be too great. We have just made a commitment to ourselves to not go down that road again. That is when we build our wall to keep us from committing or feeling accepted.

If you want to create a new outcome or experience than what you experienced in the past, you must be willing to make new choices and take new risks. Be conscious of your patterns and habits so you can change them.

When you allow yourself to be present to everything you’re feeling and experiencing, it doesn’t really matter if others agree or approve of what you’re experiencing. This is because you don’t need to seek their approval; you trust that everything you’re going through and everything you are feeling is valid.

When I first began teaching classes years ago, I was afraid that people would think I was some sort of wacko. A coo-coo who was preaching these far out beliefs and I risked losing friendships and associations because I was choosing to teach my beliefs.

Well, the classes were well received and the people liked what they were learning so that gave me more confidence. Then I was asked to be on the radio and I thought, “Yikes now even more people are going to hear me. Who said I knew what I was talking about?” But I trusted myself and the material and did very well. They even asked me back and I had more people attending my classes!

Each time I get pushed to another level of presenting myself and my beliefs I would take a big breath and trust that I was on the right path. I didn’t have time to worry about what people would think and how they would react. Of course, it did help that I was hearing from people all over the globe and that were were all discussing similar subjects and teaching the same lessons.

I did lose a few friends who didn’t understand the path I had chosen, but then I realized that they didn’t support who I was becoming and my spiritual growth so I didn’t need their negativity anyway. I have learned to take that leap of faith and risk everything by putting myself out there to see what happens.

Your Intuitive Side

IntuitionAre you becoming more aware? Getting feelings that something is going to happen or that someone is going to call? A sense of sadness or happiness when two minutes ago you weren’t feeling a thing?

Sounds like your intuitive side is waking up!

Everyone has an intuitive side, some people open up to it more than others and some people ignore it all together. But then some people are better at sports or signing than others. It is up to each individual to decide whether or not they want to perfect it more.

Here are three fun ways to do that:

  1. Have someone pick a picture out of a magazine, put it into an envelope and hand it to you. Hold it in your hand and see if you get anything. Do you sense color? Form? Even a picture. Write down what you sense then open the envelope and see how close you got to the actual picture.
  2. Sit quietly in mediation, ask a question, then wait and see if you hear a sound, feel an emotion or see an image. Write down what you felt/saw/heard and put the time and date on it. Then pay close attention during the next couple of days and see if anything happens that’s similar to the message you received.
  3. Take a object and hold it it your hand to see if you “get” anything from it like a feeling or image.

These are some ways to have fun with developing your intuition. Don’t be too hard on yourself in the beginning. A lot of second guessing goes on and you could talk yourself out of your ability.

I work with people who are beginning to open to their awareness and help them learn how to read the signs. It can be confusing at times, but it is there. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to keep a journal since it can help make sense of what you area receiving.

Have a question about intuition, perception or premonitions? Submit your question and I’d be happy to answer it!

The Obsessed

Modern Tree“To do something for the pure joy of it; to want to contribute something to others as a way of service is altruistic. But to be driven by an activity to the extent that everything else becomes secondary is abnormal. The individual who is obsessed, possesses compulsive ideas or irresistible urges.” – John Randolph Price

This essentially describes addictive behavior, behavior that arises when individuals go into their deep rooted shame and subscribe to a belief that they are flawed or guilty of something. They start creating a belief system about themselves; “No one would want to love me”, “I am no good”, “I always screw up.” They believe this because they don’t love themselves.

This is the root for all addictive behaviors: the alcoholic, the drug addict, the compulsive gambler, the sex addict, the overeater….you get the idea.

Sometimes this is a result of a traumatic experience. One example is a client of mine who was extremely overweight. She had been sexually assaulted as a very young child. The perpetrator keep telling her she was such a cute little doll and she was very pretty. She was frightened; she didn’t like what was happening, but the abuse occurred three or four different times and at some point she decided the only way to not be pretty was to eat…obsessively.

This is a choice some compulsive/addicted people make. A choice that becomes life damaging. My client now hates herself for being fat and thinks she is ugly, and the process of self-hate is now fed, (literally) by a new belief that she isn’t good enough, or pretty enough. The goal here is to heal the abuse and then address the eating issues by allowing her guilt surrounding the situation to heal.

Another example is the compulsive shopper. I counseled a young woman who would shop when she felt out of control. On the outside, she was intelligent, attractive, funny, and self-assured, but when she felt scared or unsure of herself and the decisions she had made she would take the rent money and go shopping. She described the high she felt while shopping – almost as if she were in a daze – and the low, guilty feelings she had when she “came down.”

By working with her to help her understand that there were just things that were out of her control, she was able to get her addiction under control. She no longer needs to buy things to feel good about herself.

To be free of these beliefs – and the guilt that accompanies them – we must choose freedom from guilt. No one put the guilt on us – we are responsible for our feelings, and now we are free to begin the healing process.

Teacher’s Teacher: Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart TolleOne of my favorite go-to authors is Eckhart Tolle. I like his straight, get-to-the-point style. His writing is cut and dry, and he’s not concerned with having to do things a certain way. He teaches one thing: to stay in your present moment and everything falls into place after that.

It sounds very simple but it’s not. And every time I read parts of his books or listen to one of his talks it makes so much sense. His information isn’t all tangled up in rituals, how to meditate, or spiritual beliefs. He just talks about The Now, how we react to the present, and how we carry baggage that holds us back.  His principles are very similar to the way I have worked my spiritual practice for years.

When I find an author I like, I tend to read their books slowly and savior all the knowledge. Even for me it was hard at first to quiet my mind and go within. From his website:

Eckhart is a spiritual teacher and author who was born in Germany and educated at the Universities of London and Cambridge. At the age of 29, a profound inner transformation radically changed the course of his life. The next few years were devoted to understanding, integrating and deepening that transformation, which marked the beginning of an intense inward journey. Later, he began to work in London with individuals and small groups as a counselor and spiritual teacher.

The “Power of Now” is about going into the moment leaving Ego behind. Tolle teaches us how to connect to our indestructible being, or Spirit.

His second book “A New Earth” helps us take a second leap of consciousness from our current identification with Ego to an entirely new way of thinking.

The information Tolle shares is right in line with the information I have always received from my own guides and I am excited that someone has put these ideas down on paper to share with the rest of us.

To find out more about Eckhart Tolle and his teachings, visit his website.

Gaining Approval or Acceptance

Acceptance with heartsThe need for approval kills freedom!

The need to get people to like you or approve of you can influence all of your choices in life and needing the approval of others can create a great deal of anxiety, because you must always be perfect – overachieving – hoping not to be criticized. The need for approval results in doing too much, feeling anxiety, worrying, being unable to stop agonizing over challenges, trying to please everyone, and working too hard.

It means constantly pushing yourself and sometimes spending too much time on projects for work or events at home – aiming for perfection. But you can become so involved with making things perfect that you don’t enjoy them. Not work, not your social life, or your home which you’ve worked so hard to make perfect.

Or, you’re always creating challenges. You may procrastinate, or avoid doing certain things, causing anxiety and fear, and getting stuck in worry .

This is eating up your whole life.

Spending your life doing this is a waste of time.

Instead, pay attention to how the need for approval is keeping you from growing. You may be stuck in a bad relationship or doing work you don’t really enjoy – causing you to do too much instead of only what is important – and creating a distraction from discovering what really matters to you.

This can get in your way when you are given new opportunities at work or with friends and family.

Ultimately, what others think of you has little impact on your decision-making about how to spend your time. Your performance should come from other motivational factors, such as being aware of what is important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy.

You can start by getting in touch with what really matters to you. By listening to what you really want in your life and acting to make it happen.

Life becomes much more effortless when you are living in alignment with what is important to you.


Fear of Lonliness

Feeling Alone and IsolatedI hear from people regularly about how lonely they feel on their spiritual path, “I wish I had more like minded people to talk to” or “I would love to be surrounded by people who are deeply spiritual.” Sometimes, they have lost friends and loved ones because they believe differently now. There are even times when you can feel totally alone in your beliefs while being completely surrounded by people. Sound familiar?

But here’s the thing: You can be alone, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely. Be careful not to interpret alone as lonely. I learned that there are tremendous benefits to alone time. I believe these moments of alone time are given to us to explore our inner side. I came to value and love my alone time and I try to use it well by meditating, journaling, and reflecting. I also believe that so much of the aloneness that people are feeling right now is part of the plan to push humanity into figuring out and truly feeling that we are all one.

Just remember, the lonely and not-fitting-in times never last too long. And you can learn many things about yourself and other during those times.