Teacher’s Teacher: Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart TolleOne of my favorite go-to authors is Eckhart Tolle. I like his straight, get-to-the-point style. His writing is cut and dry, and he’s not concerned with having to do things a certain way. He teaches one thing: to stay in your present moment and everything falls into place after that.

It sounds very simple but it’s not. And every time I read parts of his books or listen to one of his talks it makes so much sense. His information isn’t all tangled up in rituals, how to meditate, or spiritual beliefs. He just talks about The Now, how we react to the present, and how we carry baggage that holds us back.  His principles are very similar to the way I have worked my spiritual practice for years.

When I find an author I like, I tend to read their books slowly and savior all the knowledge. Even for me it was hard at first to quiet my mind and go within. From his website:

Eckhart is a spiritual teacher and author who was born in Germany and educated at the Universities of London and Cambridge. At the age of 29, a profound inner transformation radically changed the course of his life. The next few years were devoted to understanding, integrating and deepening that transformation, which marked the beginning of an intense inward journey. Later, he began to work in London with individuals and small groups as a counselor and spiritual teacher.

The “Power of Now” is about going into the moment leaving Ego behind. Tolle teaches us how to connect to our indestructible being, or Spirit.

His second book “A New Earth” helps us take a second leap of consciousness from our current identification with Ego to an entirely new way of thinking.

The information Tolle shares is right in line with the information I have always received from my own guides and I am excited that someone has put these ideas down on paper to share with the rest of us.

To find out more about Eckhart Tolle and his teachings, visit his website.

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Gaining Approval or Acceptance

Acceptance with heartsThe need for approval kills freedom!

The need to get people to like you or approve of you can influence all of your choices in life and needing the approval of others can create a great deal of anxiety, because you must always be perfect – overachieving – hoping not to be criticized. The need for approval results in doing too much, feeling anxiety, worrying, being unable to stop agonizing over challenges, trying to please everyone, and working too hard.

It means constantly pushing yourself and sometimes spending too much time on projects for work or events at home – aiming for perfection. But you can become so involved with making things perfect that you don’t enjoy them. Not work, not your social life, or your home which you’ve worked so hard to make perfect.

Or, you’re always creating challenges. You may procrastinate, or avoid doing certain things, causing anxiety and fear, and getting stuck in worry .

This is eating up your whole life.

Spending your life doing this is a waste of time.

Instead, pay attention to how the need for approval is keeping you from growing. You may be stuck in a bad relationship or doing work you don’t really enjoy – causing you to do too much instead of only what is important – and creating a distraction from discovering what really matters to you.

This can get in your way when you are given new opportunities at work or with friends and family.

Ultimately, what others think of you has little impact on your decision-making about how to spend your time. Your performance should come from other motivational factors, such as being aware of what is important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy.

You can start by getting in touch with what really matters to you. By listening to what you really want in your life and acting to make it happen.

Life becomes much more effortless when you are living in alignment with what is important to you.

 

Fear of Lonliness

Feeling Alone and IsolatedI hear from people regularly about how lonely they feel on their spiritual path, “I wish I had more like minded people to talk to” or “I would love to be surrounded by people who are deeply spiritual.” Sometimes, they have lost friends and loved ones because they believe differently now. There are even times when you can feel totally alone in your beliefs while being completely surrounded by people. Sound familiar?

But here’s the thing: You can be alone, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely. Be careful not to interpret alone as lonely. I learned that there are tremendous benefits to alone time. I believe these moments of alone time are given to us to explore our inner side. I came to value and love my alone time and I try to use it well by meditating, journaling, and reflecting. I also believe that so much of the aloneness that people are feeling right now is part of the plan to push humanity into figuring out and truly feeling that we are all one.

Just remember, the lonely and not-fitting-in times never last too long. And you can learn many things about yourself and other during those times.

Your Inner Child

Inner ChildIf you saw a small child standing all alone, looking scared, hurt and frightened, would you walk away from that child?

But we do every day. There is a little child inside all of us that has been carrying our hurts, sadness, and fears.

There are feelings inside of us that we have been carrying around since childhood. They have gone unhealed and unheard all this time. They show up in our outer life as problematic communications, anger issues, dysfunctional relationships, addictions or codependency.  They may leave us feeling sad, lonely, abandoned or distrustful.  Most of these issues were established out of early childhood experiences. You may not even be aware that these defensive and self defeating patterns exist or that they are causing problems in your life. Often these patterns were formed in order to protect the child you once were but now are keeping you from the life you deserve and long for.

But these patterns and beliefs can be healed allowing you to change your perspective and move into a place of emotional and spiritual freedom. As you learn to listen to your own inner self you begin to feel heard and are able to get some distance from old messages, emotional loops and tapes. The old wounds that you have carried can finally begin to heal.  As you move along with the process you will begin to receive new messages based on truth and eventually will begin to relax and trust in your own inner guidance. When you choose to align yourself with the truth you begin to honor who you truly are. The more you learn to trust yourself the less likely it is that you will give your power away to others. As you learn to access your own inner resources you will begin to see more clearly and feel more empowered.  You will begin to find a deeper level of understanding of yourself thus affecting your own physical and emotional health and your relationships.

Affirmations Keep You Focused

HibiscusOne of my favorite things to keep me focused is affirmations. They keep me in my present moment and one of my clients told me they keep the boogie man away.

They can help you remain positive and open. Depending upon the affirmation, it trains your mind which in time changes your thinking to be more confident, abundant, happier and healthy. Remember my earlier post about creating your reality?

Here are a few of my favorite affirmations:

  • I see the abundance in all I do.
  • Loving others is easy when I love myself
  • I am successful in all I do
  • I release all fear and negativity
  • I am willing to let go
  • I experience love and happiness wherever I go
  • I love my body
  • Change is easy for me
  • I am safe in my environment
  • I choose to be successful
  • I am the creator of my own reality

I hope you have fun with these and they work for you. I would love to hear some of your affirmations in the comments section below.

Think Happy Thoughts

Let a series of happy thoughts run through your mind. They will show on your face.Happy thoughts are everywhere. The trick is to focus on them more than on television news, what people say to you, or someone getting mad at you on the road and flipping you off. You know, those every day crush-your-life-thoughts that keep building until you are either very mad at the world, yourself, or someone else.

I don’t know about you, but holding onto the negative thoughts thrown at me from every direction don’t necessarily do a thing for me. So I decided to start focusing on Happy Thoughts about 10 years ago. It is amazing how much happier I am and at peace.

Yes, there are times that I could handle things better, like someone else’s anger, or stupidity. But I’ve mostly kept my world happy. I am aware of what is going on I just don’t let it get to me as easily.

Here are some ways you can think happy:

  • Take more time in nature
  • Turn off your phone and computer
  • Take a moment for yourself; maybe stop for coffee instead of grabbing coffee and spilling it on yourself while driving
  • I like gardening, something about getting your hands in dirt that is calming
  • Take yourself to a movie
  • Create a space in your house or yard that is tranquil and sit there taking deep breaths
  • Get lost in a book
  • If you can go to a lake or river, creek or some type of water, water is very soothing and peaceful
  • Maybe you like to clean your house and then just enjoy it for the weekend

These are just some of the things either I do for myself or my clients have done. The most important thing to remember is that if you are not relaxed and enjoying your happy, you’re not doing the right thing for you.

I have named a few but I would love to get more ideas. What do you do to keep happy? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Create Your Own Reality

You create your realityYou have been creating your reality since you were born, but you might have just forgotten it. You might have started believing what others said when they told you were wrong or you couldn’t. You forgot to listen to yourself and what you wanted.

Your thoughts help create your reality. Have you ever woken up in a bad mood? Have you noticed that it seems like everything goes wrong? It seems like it is all downhill from there, right? Or maybe you get up in the morning and you are feeling great! Life is good and everything is going your way.

You are creating your reality by either staying mad and creating chaos or staying happy and creating harmony. You are the creator of your own future and there are two ways to go about it: consciously or unconsciously.

I have a client that had a slight tremor in his hand and the doctor told him he had uncontrollable tremors but it could be controlled with medication. But he was convinced that the doctor was keeping the worst news from him so he went home and started to do research and convinced himself he had Parkinson’s. He now sits around convincing himself it is getting worse, and soon he won’t be able to work, that he has maybe 10 good years left before he can no longer function.  I have watched him go from having a small tremor in his hand to watching his whole body tremble six months’ time. He won’t listen to anything positive and just says nobody knows what they are talking about including the doctor.  He has created a reality that he somehow feels okay with.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my daughter decided to move to Seattle from Northern Arizona just after college and I have never seen anything so remarkable and fun to watch. She had never even been to Seattle before, but she started doing research, telling people she was moving, and visualizing what it would be like to live there. Two weeks before she planned to leave, she still hadn’t saved as much money as she wanted, she still didn’t have a job, and she had no place to live, but that didn’t stop her. She just knew that everything was going to work out. Three days before she left, a close friend of mine wrote her a check, giving her just enough to move. She rented a moving van and she and her best friend drove to Seattle with no specific destination in mind. They parked the truck, rented a car, and miraculously found her an apartment on Labor Day weekend. She had unpacked and moved in within six hours of finding her new home and received a job offer the next day.

See? Your thoughts are your creation.

It is amazing what you can create when you are consciously aware of your thoughts and your visualizations. But it takes insight, patience, constant attention, and daydreaming; you have to believe in what you want.

You’ve got to visualize, see yourself doing what you want to do, feel it, fantasize about it, and make it as real as you can.

I recommend two good books on this subject if you are interested and want to get started: Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks and The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

So basically what I am saying is, go for it!