Lots of attention is paid this time of year to giving thanks and expressing gratitude for what we have, and that is wonderful! But unfortunately, a lot of attention is also paid to “creating the perfect holiday meal/gift/home/party/…”
This can pose a huge challenge to those over-achievers and perfectionists out there who strive to give their friends, families and co-workers the best holiday experience ever. Often, they run themselves ragged by getting very little sleep because they’re up all night baking perfect pies, stressing over the minor details including seating arrangements, and running all over town just to find the right flower for the centerpiece.
Relax, not even Martha Stewart can do it herself. She has an army of assistants working to help her dazzle everyone with her “genius”.
Perfectionists obsess over every minor detail when it comes to holiday family gatherings. This can stem from a strong emotional desire to please so their homes need to be clean enough to pass the “white glove test”. Or, they might have something to prove by showing everyone that they are amazing cooks by roasting the perfect turkey, creating the most scrumptious desserts, and making everything by hand. Thinking of others before themselves, they spend days putting together seating charts and creating a list of games to play. By the time the holiday arrives they’re already exhausted.
And to make matters worse, the work is just the beginning. Often, perfectionists spend the entire time in the kitchen or flitting around fixing decorations, organizing coats, and making sure everyone is comfortable to even stop and enjoy their company. Typically, the holidays are over before they realize that they didn’t really get to spend any quality time with their friends and family. Days later – suffering from post-event depression – they think, “I want to ask so-and-so about that” before realizing the gathering is over and the opportunity has passed.
They do all this work to create the perfect day and they don’t even stop to enjoy it.
It’s okay, (and more enjoyable,) to order a pizza one night if it means spending quality time with family because in the end, it’s really more important than creating a table that looks like a magazine cover.
Trust me, it is so freeing!