It Has to Start With You

Build-a-stone-path-smWe are what we think and speak. If we want to have a happy life then it is up to us to examine our lives and see where we are not happy and why.

Until you have learned to concentrate, you cannot change. You have to be in the present moment. That’s the only time you can truly be the observer and make better choices, decisions and change patterns that you unconsciously do, keeping you stuck.

Our natural state of being is to be happy, but we constantly sabotage ourselves by continually concentrating on illusion – what we think is happening and what we think we are doing. Because we are accepting illusion as reality we project our thoughts, fears, lack and disconnect as our reality, creating disappointment and lack.

We speak words of love, connection and wholeness of being. But when it comes down to living those beliefs, very few of actually follow that course.

We recognize what is good, what will make us happy, loving and compassionate, but we can’t hold the thought long enough to create it in our own reality. We speak or think the words of love and compassion, but we don’t act on those thoughts. We approve of it, then our next thought is, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was really like this?” never taking it into our own self, our own belief and practicing it. We always think the other person should change.

It’s one thing to think it; it’s quite another to live the change by making the effort to change. Many continue to stay in the same pattern of behavior and belief, but it has to start with you.

Affirmations Keep You Focused

HibiscusOne of my favorite things to keep me focused is affirmations. They keep me in my present moment and one of my clients told me they keep the boogie man away.

They can help you remain positive and open. Depending upon the affirmation, it trains your mind which in time changes your thinking to be more confident, abundant, happier and healthy. Remember my earlier post about creating your reality?

Here are a few of my favorite affirmations:

  • I see the abundance in all I do.
  • Loving others is easy when I love myself
  • I am successful in all I do
  • I release all fear and negativity
  • I am willing to let go
  • I experience love and happiness wherever I go
  • I love my body
  • Change is easy for me
  • I am safe in my environment
  • I choose to be successful
  • I am the creator of my own reality

I hope you have fun with these and they work for you. I would love to hear some of your affirmations in the comments section below.

Forget Regret

Erase RegretHow many times have you carried around a burden from a mistake you might have made years ago? As if it is not enough that the world seems to beat you up, you beat yourself up too.

That’s regret!

It’s important that you move past those perceived mistakes by looking at the situation with an objective mind. What was it you think you could have done in that situation? How would you have acted differently? Is it guilt that still drives you? Or do you truly think you would have turned out differently?

Hindsight is 20/20, right? It is always easier, knowing what you know now, to second guess how you would have handled things differently, but when you were in that situation, you may have had no way of knowing what the outcome would be. You need to really look at the situation and see what your real responsibility was. Most of the time, there really wasn’t anything you could have done to change the outcome of that moment.

So once you recognize the burden, how do you release it? You can start with some simple affirmations:

I am always safe taking chances, moving forward.

I love the opportunity to take chances to move forward in my life.

It is safe for me to move forward and take risks.

It is easy to take one step forward at a time.

I can move through this with grace and ease. The Universe always gives me what I need at the time.

Forgiving yourself is the first step to forgetting regret and making the change to become a healthier you.

Paddling Against the Current

Standup paddleboarderWhen you change your life’s pattern for the good, it can feel like you are moving against everyone else. That’s because you are adjusting to new patterns, new ways of thinking, maybe even different ways of dressing, eating, or speaking and not everyone is moving in the same new direction as you.

You might find it harder to express your ideas or thoughts because those around you who used to understand you, no longer do. They may give you a hard time, or get frustrated because they can’t fathom why you would want to change. Like paddling against the current, you may feel like you’re not getting anywhere.

Don’t worry. This is just a temporary state and as you as you adjust to the new pattern, things will begin to fall into place. It’s sort of like moving the furniture around in a room. At first it looks like a jumbled mess, but then you move the couch, vacuum under the rug, put the books back on the bookshelves, and buy new pillows for the couch. Before you know it, you have a new living room. Even though no one else could understand why you were rearranging a perfectly fine living room, you knew things needed to change so you did it!

Making life changes is sort of like that. And once it’s been changed, there’s no going back to the way the furniture was before you switched it around. Old patterns, habits, and sometimes even friends, no longer fit into your life.

It’s okay. Change is good and personal growth, moving forward on our path is the ultimate goal in life – even if it is an upstream struggle.

So don’t listen to that little voice in your head that’s says to go back……Listen to your heart. It will always help you move forward.

Change is Subtle

Purple ButterflyChange comes about as millions of tiny little acts that seem totally insignificant. Knowing this we shouldn’t  be so afraid to act.

But we are, right? Sometimes even taking the tiniest, teensiest, baby steps, feels more like scaling the Grand Canyon than making a small change. We get sidetracked by the overall goal and forget to honor ourselves for the little things we do everyday to affect change.

The trick here is to focus on one step at a time and not get overwhelmed with all the details, possible outcomes, and expectations.

But it’s not so easy, is it?

When I say, “focus on one step at a time,” what I mean is, devote your full attention to the current (tiny) task at hand. Let’s say you have a really hard time saving money but you want to take a vacation that will cost $5000. Instead of focusing on the total amount you wish to save – which can be totally overwhelming – and the fact that you are “horrible at saving money,” just start by placing whatever cash you have in your purse, wallet, or pocket every Friday in a jar or envelope. (I actually like to use an old Altoids tin.) Don’t count it, just put it in. At the end of each month, allow yourself a few minutes to calculate how much you’ve saved. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done and then move on. You’ll find that without focusing on the goal, you will eventually get there – probably quicker than if you had obsessed about it every day and done nothing but focus on your poor saving skills. You may even find that you put money in on Wednesday, too.

Because that one act of putting a dollar in an envelope reinforces your desire to save money and reminds the Universe that you are willing to change which then attracts positive energy and support for the change you are trying to make which then makes it even easier to change.

Phew! That’s a mind-bender. But I hope you can see my point.

The same advice is true whether you are trying to get sober, heal from an abusive relationship, or become a more confident person. It’s all the tiny little actions that add up to the major change.

Don’t be afraid. You can do it!

The Definition of Insanity

RepetitionDo you ever ask yourself, “why does this keep happening to me?” The simple answer is because you keep doing the same thing to yourself over and over.

If you always seem to find yourself in the same situation, maybe it’s time to take a good, long look and figure out how you got there. Chances are, you keep repeating the same patterns hoping for a different result.

Of course, I’m referring to the negative aspects of your life. If you keep doing the same thing again and again but experience positive results, by all means – keep doing what you’re doing!

But if you’re asking yourself, “why does this keep happening to me?” chances are you’re in victim mode and have not taken the time to examine your motives and actions to determine how you might arrive at a different outcome.

Self-exploration is hard, I know. But if you’re really honest with yourself, and take the time to really look at the situation, and if you really, truly want a different outcome – which in effect, results in change – then you need to spend some time figuring out why you act and react the way you do in various situations so that you can alter those unhealthy patterns and become the person your soul truly wishes to be!