The need to get people to like you or approve of you can influence all of your choices in life and needing the approval of others can create a great deal of anxiety, because you must always be perfect – overachieving – hoping not to be criticized. The need for approval results in doing too much, feeling anxiety, worrying, being unable to stop agonizing over challenges, trying to please everyone, and working too hard.
It means constantly pushing yourself and sometimes spending too much time on projects for work or events at home – aiming for perfection. But you can become so involved with making things perfect that you don’t enjoy them. Not work, not your social life, or your home which you’ve worked so hard to make perfect.
Or, you’re always creating challenges. You may procrastinate, or avoid doing certain things, causing anxiety and fear, and getting stuck in worry .
This is eating up your whole life.
Spending your life doing this is a waste of time.
Instead, pay attention to how the need for approval is keeping you from growing. You may be stuck in a bad relationship or doing work you don’t really enjoy – causing you to do too much instead of only what is important – and creating a distraction from discovering what really matters to you.
This can get in your way when you are given new opportunities at work or with friends and family.
Ultimately, what others think of you has little impact on your decision-making about how to spend your time. Your performance should come from other motivational factors, such as being aware of what is important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy.
You can start by getting in touch with what really matters to you. By listening to what you really want in your life and acting to make it happen.
Life becomes much more effortless when you are living in alignment with what is important to you.