Being a Counselor/Psychic

Flowers-Pink-In-The-Mountain-WallpaperI am a good listener. In fact, that’s one of the reasons I became a therapist. But I’m also a psychic and my main goal is to help people become the most fulfilled person they can become.

Often, when I am “out in the public”, people will begin to tell me how confused, angry, hurt, or upset they are about a relationship, their job, or specific person. It must be a vibe I have, but it never fails – people will just start telling me their life story without any prompting.  They tell me they don’t understand what’s going on, or that life seems to have swirled out of control. Or the biggie, “Why is this happening to me again?”

They continue expressing their fear, confusion, and share how they constantly feel overwhelmed. Sometimes they will even share that they don’t feel that good about themselves, or that they’ve made some “bad” decisions. Then they ask me what I do for a living and when they find out, all of a sudden they realize who they are talking to and make a hasty retreat. They get nervous because they think that I can read their mind, or are using my special therapist tricks to see what an awful person they really are.

People are so afraid that if they talk to a therapist, they’ll find out that all the bad things in their life are their fault or that the negative thoughts they have about themselves are actually true.

But going to a therapist is like going to a mechanic. If your car is acting up and you can’t figure out what is wrong with it, don’t you take it to an expert in that field? Or do you get in and hope that it won’t break down and still gets you where you need to go? Someone that works on cars all the time has a clue about what is wrong and knows how to fix it.

The same thing happens in life, so why not go to someone who can help you find the problem?

Don’t be afraid of a counselor. Their job is to help you figure out what’s going on in your life and how to work through the situations you’re facing. It’s like someone handing you a road map that makes life so much easier.

Therapy isn’t about judgement or blame. Sometimes people think that what they have done or said was horrible and awful. But by expressing those things that have been held in so long and sharing them with someone who is a good listener, the burden is lightened and you feel free-er.

Because you’re really not as bad as you think you are.

 

 

One Step at a Time

Rocks on a Hawaiian BeachWhen it comes to personal growth, you have three options: take a step forward, take a step back, or stay in the present moment.

One of the easiest traps to fall into when you first begin therapy is to get stuck on what it’s going to be like in the future when things have changed. But when my clients get upset and angry about how long it takes to work on themselves and feel better, I tell them it takes “one step at a time.”  You wouldn’t start kindergarten and expect to be promoted to fifth grade at the end of the year. It takes time, patience and staying in the present moment as much as you can. Thinking about your future and not paying attention to your present moment is not going to get you anywhere!

Once you’ve taken that trip to the future to see what you think life will be like, come back to the present moment and set it into motion by making a plan. But you can’t just think about it, you have to take daily steps to do it. But you also have to be aware of those daily steps to make it stick.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I often have clients that say to me “This is hard work. I don’t want to get better; I was doing just fine doing what I was doing,” or “I fixed the problem I am okay now; I don’t need to work on me anymore.”

That is like deciding to just keep wearing the same shoes you wore in third grade, even though your feet have grown since then. You can’t go back again after you have begun to change your thoughts, your perspective, and your life. You’ll always feel unhappy and out of sorts. Just like wearing those tiny shoes.

Once you get started and you are serious about change, learning to stay in the present moment and taking each day as it comes with your new tools becomes so much easier. It’s okay to take baby steps. Life has its’ moments when things aren’t so great, but if you take one step at a time and practice what you’ve learned in therapy it is so much more fun!